Wednesday, May 02, 2018

Semi-Automatic






Billy Graham Lays in state like Lenin. A glass coffin. Large slabs of colored concrete encase the preacher in a manner that competes with, yet also silently judges, the Soviets.

My current exercise is to meditate or astrally project, trying to match my current energies with the energies of myself thirty years ago.  To inhabit, or at the very least, communicate with, my 16 year old body.

I tried this years ago but I keep getting distracted.

Megiddo 2 on Amazon channel TV.  The last time I looked at the screen there was Billy Graham, now it's Jesus but I don't know what any of it means...

Your face warps into strange shapes, when you frown, your expressive full lips affect me.   I feel as though I would find your dermis disturbing.

The cat is trying to cuddle up on my shoulder.... the crook of my arm.

I just flashed to an image of an area of Ramblewood South.  It is a parking lot facing North,  we are cleaning one set of buildings, their parking lot has a high wall on one side.  I enjoy cleaning it.  It is a good way to spend the day and I feel like the day is a day to baby myself.  To go without guilt, without shame.

The definition of 'worthwhile' is totally subjective: thinking of B.....'s husband.  He also has self-doubts.

And this last phrase from the auto-dictate software deserves to be repeated:  'myself doubts perhaps some moments to repeat certainly feels possible the weirdest song...'