Skip to main content

The Most Pathetic One Alive

When I was a young boy I used to try and imagine who the most pathetic person alive would be. I thought that I should not feel so badly, should not feel so picked on when there was someone alive who was ever more pathetic.

As I grew older I started to think of this question in differing ways. Who, objectively, in all of humanity, has it the worst? Who is the most pathetic?

To study this objectively one would have to create parameters for determining the Pathetic Quotient. One could not simply rest on physical problems nor mental ones. One could not only take into account the fact that a person was from the lowest socio-economic class or whether the person was from a persecuted class or race. One would also have to take into account the Irony Variable, had the person taken a great fall? Had the person once been, say, a vigorous athlete now reduced to severe handicap and poverty?

I realize now, since I have been of the world and understand how these things work, that a grant is in order. I am therefore asking that any interested parties open wide their pocketbooks and make a donation to the Pathetic Quotient Fund.

Upon receipt of your contribution, and once a list of top PQ scorers has been assembled, you will receive one of the following gifts [based on the generosity of your gift]:

$100: An autographed [assuming the person is able to manipulate writing instruments] 8x10 full colour glossy of a Top PQ Scorer, suitable for framing.

$500: An audio cassette of the Top PQ Scorer reciting poetry or some other folk-style work of audio art.

$1500: A chance for you to house the Top PQ Scorer for a weekend at your place of residence.

We here at the Plaza of the Mind look forward to your contributions , keep in mind that it may be a considerable span of time between your actual donation and the reciept of your gift due to the overwhelming amount of research this project entails. Also be aware that we are not accepting donations yet. We are still auditioning legal representatives versed in such matters so as to avoid needless legal hassles. The Paypal logo above is used strictly for illustration and should not be used as a link to that site until this program is underway.

We will keep you posted, in the meantime, think about what you will say once you've met the most Pathetic one alive.

Popular posts from this blog

Vertically adjustable ceiling

After looking at the modern meeting room ceilings of several business and medical centers it becomes apparent how difficult it is to the maintain the cleanliness of the intricate series of recessed light fixtures, hanging lamps, video projectors, audio speakers, smoke and co2 detectors, climate control vents and sprinkler heads. An average sized room would not be too difficult to service but the rooms with higher ceilings, the fourteen, fifteen and sixteen foot ones can become a challenge and/or danger.

Perhaps it would benefit the environmental services worker if the ceiling could be raised and lowered at will. It could also make for a refreshing aesthetic change dependent on whether the tone of the meetings in question wanted the cozy feel of a low ceiling for small presentations or the grandeur of the high ceiling for larger exhibitions.

Plaza of the Mind Interview with Adam Parfrey.

I first heard of Adam Parfrey in the late nineties when I picked up a copy of his record A Sordid Evening of Sonic Sorrows:A collection including covers of Lou Reed [Kill your Sons] and Black Sabbath [Paranoid] as well as several memorable originals, my favorite being Nation Down For the Count, which can best be described as an easy listening rant.I later discovered that Mr. Parfrey was also a book publisher and is the founder of Feral Housebooks.I had already been a great fan of Donna Kossy’s book Kooks, which was published by Feral House.Feral House specializes in books dealing with the extremes of human behavior and outsider art.They are not books for the squeamish but they are quite well crafted and nothing if not interesting.I sent Mr. Parfrey an invitation to participate in a short piece for the Plaza of the Mind and he was generous enough to accept it.What follows is an electronic interview conducted over a couple of days.Enjoy![The Plaza of the Mind quotes appear in Bold-type,…

The Plaza of the Mind Interview with Paul Robb of Information Society!

I had been a fan of Information Society since the release of their self-titled LP in 1989. But it was their follow up release, Hack, that propelled them into the forefront of my favorite recording artists, a spot that they have remained in ever since. The original line-up of the band [Paul Robb, James Cassidy and Kurt Harland] dissolved shortly after their third release, Peace and Love, Inc., and was continued solely by lead singer Kurt Harland on the incredibly atmospheric Don't Be Afraid.Information Society had not recorded any new material since that 1997 release and I had begun to give up hope of ever hearing anything new until last spring when it was announced that Paul Robb was working on a new record [Synthesizer] with James Cassidy and newcomers Christopher Anton and Sonja Myers and would soon be playing select cities. I was lucky enough to catch the reunited Information Society last summer [see my coverage of the show here] and had an amazing time. Information Socie…